What's Next

This semester has been a whirlwind. It has flown by so fast. I have taken quite a few communication courses previously, so much of this was repeat for me. Being exposed to the material multiple times is always useful though. With each communication course I grow a little more each time. I learn more about myself and the people I interact with on a daily basis. I always learn more effective ways of communicating with others. I am usually really blunt and straightforward which can be too much for people sometimes. I come off too strong and rude, so I have learned to phrase my comments more appropriately. I have also applied listening skills I have learned. When friends ask me for advice I make sure I ask plenty of questions about the situation before giving my advice. I have one year left and then I graduate spring of 2013. After that I plan to move back to San Diego. I will probably start looking for jobs in the event coordinating field and look into grad school. I haven't decided on graduate school 100% yet, so I think I will take some time figure out what exactly I want to do.

Graduate School or Not?

I am a junior and have 1 more year left before I graduate next spring (hopefully, if all goes as planned). I have always been 50/50 on grad school and wasn't sure if I wanted to do it. I think I would definitely like to take some time off before I do if I decide to go that route. Deanna actually brought grad school up with me and told me I could come sit in on one of her grad classes, so I took her up on that offer. I went to her grad class on interviewing where they learn to conduct interviews for their research. It was really great to go and observe a grad class since I didn't know much about any grad program.Watching them interact compared to an undergrad class was very intriguing. They all participated and they participated more than most undergrad classes would. They could easily talk about a topic for the entirety of the class if they didn't have to move on to other things. I love that kind of interaction so that gave me a little inspiration right there. The students were all very welcoming, gladly answered any of my questions, and wished me luck with my classes on my way out. If at all possible at any time during your studies as an undergrad and you're possibly thinking about grad school, even remotely, I recommend sitting in on a class if you have a teacher that allows you to. It was a great experience that definitely got me thinking and inspired me a little bit. I immediately came home and started looking up some grad programs. I am still undecided, but it got some wheels turning in my head and answered a lot of questions I had. 

Legacy of Poetry Day at SJSU

The other day, Thursday April 19th, I was leaving my class in HGH and walking to Washington Square Hall for my other class. Outside the library there was a canopy with a microphone stand and a bunch of chairs. People were sitting down listening to speakers. I was interested, so I stopped. Turns out they were having an event for SJSU Legacy of Poetry Day. They had many different poets who had graduated from SJSU reading that day. I had about 45 minutes to spare before my next class so I sat and listened a few readers. I myself am not a poet and haven't really tried writing poetry, but as I was listening to the speakers read their poems I made a connection with communication. Obviously they are speaking, but this is their way of expressing their feelings and emotions. It got me thinking how I express my emotions. I am not really afraid to disclose my emotions, I actually need to talk about them to someone to make myself feel better. I realized that it doesn't come as easily to some but they still have beautiful forms of expressing their emotions. It is the same with musicians, dancers, any art form. Many of us use art forms to express ourselves because it is easier than the spoken word. It is still communication though. This was not specifically a communication event, but I felt it still pertained to communication a lot. I particularly liked this one poem about waves because I am from San Diego so it reminded me of the beaches back home I grew up on =) Every time I go home, even in winter, I go sit on the beach and watch the waves.

It Was All A Big Misunderstanding

We discussed misunderstandings in class last week and there is nothing that irks me more than when something so little gets blown out of proportion because of a little misunderstanding. It drives me crazy when I am watching a movie and you can see what two people are thinking but won't say to each other and I think to myself "just tell them that because they are thinking something completely different!" I often end up talking too much or giving too much detail because I want to make sure my listener completely understands. My friends make fun of me when I tell stories because I take forever. What also pisses me off, and I am guilty of this sometimes, is when someone gets upset because person A told them something about person B and they jump to conclusions, getting pissed at person B without first confronting them calmly and asking for their side. There has been a lot of miscommunication and misunderstandings in my family lately and we finally sat down and had a family discussion. After listening to everybody for a while and finally hearing everything everyone was thinking I got all "communication studies major" on them and talked about what terrible communication we have and that we need to fix it. I think this is one reason I am a communication studies major, because I feel it is one of our biggest problems as a society. I love that moment of clarity when people finally sit down to talk and things are cleared up. 

My Plan

I went and met with professor Gao Ge, a comm advisor, today to discuss potential classes I should take for the remainder of my time here at San Jose State. I had met with her previously to discuss the amount of credits I needed and in what areas. This time I discussed some of the classes I should take based on my career plans after college. We figured out how many units I need to take these next two semesters to be able to graduate next spring in 2013. I was able to lay out each semester with all the classes I need/want. I am pretty set on what I want to do, so it was easy to figure out. It was very helpful to see it layed out in front of me. I am able to visualize it and see what needs to be done now. I like structure so planning it all out gives me that structure to follow. My next two semesters have to consist of 15 units each. I need to do both my I classes, 198, 199c, and my R and S sections of the SJSU studies. That leaves me with 10 extra units to reach the required 120 to graduate. Since I want to go into event coordinating, we discussed kind of creating my own minor. I don't want to take on a minor because I want to graduate next spring and be done, but for those extra units, I will take classes in PR or hospitality/management to have somewhat of an emphasis. Professor Ge was very helpful and answered all of my questions. Meeting with an advisor was extremely beneficial.

My Classroom Environment

I am usually a pretty outspoken participant in the classroom. I definitely think I get a better learning experience when the students get the chance to interact with each other. I need to be interested in the subject to be engaged as well. I also participate more when the teacher sets up a comfortable environment. I prefer a more casual setting, less formal and structured, where the whole class is having a simple discussion. I like the teacher to be just as engaged as the students. I understand if they want to let the students have a chance to speak, but their word is just as valuable. I see us as equals and I like when the teacher does as well. I notice I am quieter in certain classes and I think the biggest issue is whether I am really interested in the subject or not. The environment the students set up is vital as well. It is important that the students all respect each other, let others speak freely, let everyone have a chance to speak, but also everyone be willing to contribute to the discussion. There is nothing worse than when no one wants to talk at all. My favorite class was a gender communications class at my community college. Each week we were to read a chapter and the first day we met that week we would get in a circle and just discuss it, kind of like we do in this class. It was the most beneficial interesting class ever. That is my ideal class.

Why Should I Tell You?

Self-disclosure can be extremely tricky. There are many risks involved. When you tell a person something you are giving them some sort of power over you. They can now use that information against you to harm you. I feel I am a pretty moderate self-discloser. I definitely don't mind telling just about everything to my best friends, boyfriend, and most my family. Then there are some people I tell most to, but not everything. I am not afraid to self-disclose or share my feelings, but I am definitely more careful about who I chose to self-disclose to. When I was in high school, young and naive, I didn't care. I was such a people person and "friends" (if you can call it that) with a lot of people and shared my life openly. I was constantly changing groups and "best friends" so I realize I probably shouldn't have been telling people as much as I did. I guess at that age I did not have much to disclose or worry about though. Now, I have much more to disclose and choose more wisely. It seems like I disclose a lot because I have quite a few friends that I am very close with and comfortable disclosing to, but they are selected very carefully over many years. Also, I like having various people to disclose to because when I have a problem I want to discuss I can get different opinions and advice. I find that I will share different degrees of different aspects of my life to different people. I may share more information about my family with my best friend and I will also share information about my family with a friend, but maybe not as much as I shared with my best friend. School, work, hobbies, taste in movies, music, food, etc. are pretty generic things that I would disclose to just about anyone. Family life I share with just about anyone to the degree of our lifestyle, how we were raised, my relationship with my parents and siblings, and things of that sort but I won't get into family issues. Overall, we need to disclose to some degree because it helps us shape our identity. It also is not healthy to keep stuff in and never discuss it, so try to find at least one person you can disclose to.  

Nobody is Perfect

If you think you are perfect, I am sorry to put a rain cloud over your head but surprise! Nobody can be perfect in any aspect of their life. That is the point of life. Make mistakes then learn and grow from them. I am a communication major and many people tell me this major suits me very well. I am a total people person and communicate well. But I, too, have my faults. Within my closest relationships I feel I tend to be too blunt, force my opinions on others, and somewhat don't let them think for themselves. If I think a close friend of mine is doing something completely stupid, I will let them know. It is fine to let them know, but I won't really take the time to gather my thoughts and tell them in an effective way, I just blurt it out. This can definitely be harsh for some people. In my comm self and society class last semester we too had to identify a problem within our communication and this is exactly what I wrote about. I feel I improved just within the semester but I continue to try and improve it even more. What I find interesting is that I do not do this to strangers or people I don't know that well because I understand that we are not on that level and I need to respect them. I think one factor may be that I care a lot about the people closest to me so I am just looking out for their best interest, but I could probably do it in a more effective way. Also, I think I feel I can be that way with them because we are on that level of honesty, trust, and I almost feel that I can be that way with them. One technique my classmates helped me come up with was to pretend that who I am speaking to is a stranger so that I don't come off too blunt or forceful. We also did a listening exercise in my interpersonal class that helped me start asking more questions before coming to a conclusion myself. If someone comes to me for advice I use this technique to help them come to a conclusion on their own before telling them my opinion. I have already started making progress since last semester and I hope to continue to do so through the rest of my communication courses.    

Who is Ali

I think chapter 4 on identity and perception had so many great things to say. I agree with everything the book said about how communicating with others shapes us and our identity, perception of ourselves and others can be misconstrued, and how we all have different identities depending on where we are or who we are with. Communicating with others and society definitely shapes us because we are able to get feedback. If we do or say something others don't like, they communicate that to us and we most likely change. That is shaping and creating us as a person. Everybody uses impression management, whether they like it or not. We all have multiple selves. I have the student self, the daughter self, the friend self, the work self, the girlfriend self, the sister self. I am different in each of these groups. Some have some crossover where I am very similar in a couple different situations, but overall I am a different self within each setting. Here are just a few things I thought of that I think definitely shaped me throughout my life: female, daughter, sister, girlfriend, student, native Californian, San Diego native, youngest of four, straight, attended public schools all my life, lived in the same home for all 21 years of my life (until now), parents are not divorced, non-religious household, white appearing. I could probably come up with more, but these are just some things I came up with in class that definitely communicated something to me, shaped my ideas, values, and beliefs, and the way I act. That is my identity and who I am. One example of my identity that many in the bay area can relate to is the word "Hella." I am a San Diego native and we make fun of the word "hella" down there, so when I moved up here I vowed NOT to give in and use "hella" so I can keep my identity with San Diego. I want to hold on to that and not lose it. Another example is being the youngest of four. I have an older brother and two older sisters. Seeing them grow up I got a heads-up on life, if you will. I saw examples of things to do and not to do. I feel I was a little better prepared because they were models for me. Also, they would tease me and make fun of me for stuff and I took it to heart. What they said was important to me and I believed them, so I would do or not do certain things based on their feedback. I feel it matured me a little faster. Communication definitely shapes your identity. 

Nonverbal included

For the article analysis, I found an article that was about nonverbal in various stages of relationships. That is one topic in communication studies that really interests me, as well as gender communications, so I loved this article and wanted to share it. I feel that nonverbal is such a major part of communications, which is why I chose this article. In the research, they found that couples thought it more important, were more willing to improve their nonverbal communication, and had the same outlook on nonverbal communication the longer they were together, mostly married couples. I think nonverbal is such an important aspect that many need to realize it's relevance. It is a whole other aspect of communication that can reduce conflict, confusion, and misunderstanding in your relationships. Understanding the importance of nonverbal, having the same outlooks as your partner, and both being willing to improve it can help the relationship grow and develop. Scholars even say that nonverbal can be more important than what you are actually saying. Nonverbal is often more true to your feelings than what you are saying, if the two contradict each other. Facial expression, body language, tone, pitch, vocal rate, emphasis on certain words, all reveal the true message if interpreted correctly. Come on boys, does a girl really mean no when she says no, or it's ok when she says it's ok? Well, sometimes she does, I usually do, but that is why you have to pay attention to the nonverbal aspect as well. I promise you will have much better luck and be happier. Avoid unnecessary conflict, confusion, and misunderstanding.
 

What it means to me

When I first decided to become a Communication Studies major, I did not really know why. I was not into school and just going through the motions. I knew I wanted to be an event coordinator, but I didn't really think I wanted to do school. This, of course, was while I was doing my G.E at community college before I took any communication classes. Once I took my first communication class, which was a gender communication class at my community college, I fell in love. I have enjoyed every single communication class since and began to really take school seriously. Everything about communication studies interests me. I have taken gender, intercultural, interpersonal, group, self and society, and training and development classes and enjoyed them all. I will say gender was the most interesting, and I also like intercultural and personal. I enjoy classes that help the development of relationships, such as gender, interpersonal, and intercultural. This is kind of interesting because that does not have much to do with my career path too much, which is event coordinating, but I think it will help when working with clients. It will help me develop a relationship with them. I enjoy these classes that help the development of your relationships because, as the title of my blog states, communication is key. I cannot help but notice when two people may argue or misunderstand each other because of their communication. I hate watching movies when things spiral so out of control because of a little miscommunication. The relationships in your life are extremely important to your well-being. Having good communication within those relationships keeps them healthy. Describing communication studies as a field is hard since it is so broad. When I am asked by my friends, "What is a communications major? What do you do?" I either get that I want to go into radio/ TV or you just learn to talk. I never know how to describe it to them. And I still do not know how to describe it now. As I stated previously, I want to be an event coordinator. Hopefully a communication degree will help me establish relationships with my clients, bridge gaps between differing cultures, and also be able to communicate my needs to my team or co-workers. There are many ways that a communication degree would be beneficial, in any field really. No matter what, it will help me out.